Monday Memories: What NOT to Read

Dear Readers, Writers, and Precious Patrons,

Today on All Authors Monday Memories, we bring you another edition of What NOT to Read from issue 5 of All Authors Magazine.

So in the spirit of “Freedom is Key”, I bring you a What NOT to read article on a book about The First Lady of The World, Mrs. Elanor Roosevelt. Everyone and anyone that has read about Mrs. Roosevelt, knows that she stood for freedom and equality. However, this mess of a book did her wrong in so many ways. SO many ways!

Random Side Note:

You know what irks me? What irks me are people that flat out lie about a book!

Prior to reading this book I indulged in some research. I suppose I'm one of the few people that likes to know what the general public has to say about a book before I read it.

Here are a few reviews found on Goodreads:

Colleen says,

“It has a good pace & style which does feel more like a novel than a biography. You can personally connect w/ Eleanor. I learned a great deal about her & that period of history. There are also quotes throughout it along side the general text. These are great for randomly opening to one & reading.”

Kristen says,

“I would definitely recommend it for anyone that wants to learn more about this fascinating woman and how the political and social world she lived in shaped who she was.”

Erlynn says,

“What I loved about this biography is that it made history relevant, interesting, and relatable. This is the goal of all good history teachers. The flow and organization was well thought out.”

Hmm... that's all good and well ladies, but let's be honest here, this book blows!

In all truth—and that's what I'm about—I have very few 'nice' things to say. It is difficult to say something truly constructive about a read like this, as all you can think is "Why?!" (PS: The erroneous punctuation is on purpose.)

I'm thinking that I have to start by saying that I enjoy history. I love learning about things that happened in the past and I truly enjoy a good biography or autobiography. This is important to mention because, as I'm sure you can already guess, I've read quite a few of them.

That being said, I'm still flabbergasted!

So, I suppose I'll just have to start by stating the 'good things' about this read.

PROS:

1) It has some nice pictures.

2) Grammar and punctuation is almost perfect.

3) I learned ONE (that's right, just ONE) new thing I didn't know before about Mrs. Roosevelt.

Let me be more specific. I didn't so much as learn a new thing as much as I witnessed something that I already knew. Inside of this biography you'll find a letter written to Mrs. Roosevelt about a black man that was lynched. And, although I'd read some time ago about the existence of this letter, I never really saw the text therein. This book actually shows the reader what the letter said.

So that was nice.

Okay... that about covers it.

CONS:

1) Why would a person write a biography—at all, let alone of an iconic figure like Mrs. Roosevelt—in 1st person? It makes no sense WHATSOEVER! This is a BIOGRAPHY not a novel! It's an unspoken rule that biographies are written in 3rd person, past tense. Why? Because it makes sense that way!

Past events, past writing. Not you, third person. Easy!

Example:

Chapter 11, first paragraph reads "On April 12, 1945, Franklin is in his fourth term as president. WWII is still raging, although it will be over this summer."

WHAT?

 

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that it finished over SIXTY FIVE YEAR AGO!

2) 99.9% of the book felt like a High School essay, with an amazing job of cut and paste.

Let me explain.

Imagine being in High School and having to do an essay/project on Mrs. Roosevelt. The last thing you want to do is read book after book, so you decide to go for gold. You pick up Mrs. Roosevelt's autobiography!

Whats next?

Copy and paste as much information as you can about Mrs. Roosevelt. That'll give you a guaranteed A! Right? 

Wrong!

  

3) WHY IN SAM HELL would a person write a biography when an AUTOBIOGRAPHY already exists? I mean, UNLESS some new information has surfaced that no one knew about. THEN, you might get away with it.

4) Now, this bit, I just couldn't get past...

This person chose to use current day, as well as unhinged analogies to describe her thoughts about Mrs. Roosevelt. Things like Facebook, Rocky (the movie), The Wizard of Oz and Star Trek.

"In today's terms this would be comparable to Michelle Obama having a daily log. Imagine Eleanor with a Facebook page."

"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star-ship Enterprise. It's five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before..."

OH, OH, WAIT! Here is one of my personal favorites:

"A king's castle—a moat, protective high walls, guards in watch towers. He is surrounded by people he can trust. He is safe to let his guard down, scratch his balls and drink grog with this cronies."

THIS is what was used to describe Mrs. Roosevelt's need for a sanctuary of her own. A place where she can scratch her balls. Enough said!

5) There was more quotes in this book from Mrs. Roosevelt's autobiography than there was any new or original information.

6) The very last chapter's title says, and I quote, "14 Elanor... The Chapter title is not a typo."

Um. Okay. Is it just me, or is that a little weird?

If you intended on misspelling her name wrong as the chapter title, then let it be. Why are you trying to explain yourself?

7) There was also a certain 'feel' in the prose, that made me get the sense that the author was trying her best to brainwash the reader, if you will—to see Mrs. Roosevelt as a victim. She kept referring to President Roosevelt's womanizing ways, and his mother's manipulating ways, and things of the sort.

Now, let me be clear. Anyone who's read about Mrs. Roosevelt knows that she was a woman of great suffering, and she did not have it easy. However, I believe that if/when a biography is written that the person writing it should do so in an objective manner. Do not try to influence the reader with your opinion, let them make one for themselves.

Gosh, I really can go on and on about the downfalls of this book, however I'll just say, I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT! I was extremely let down!

However, if you're brave enough to dive into it for yourself, please feel free. Here is where you can find it:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12286437-eleanor-roosevelt-s-life-of-soul-searching-and-self-discovery

Remembering The Very First "What NOT to Read"

All Authors Magazine has come a long way since its very first issue. Today, I'll indulge you on a walk down memory lane. Let's take a look at the very first "What NOT to read".

Hello Everyone, Mini Truth here!

So, I'm thinking that since this is the very first issue of the All Authors Magazine, I should start by introducing myself. I'm called Mini Truth because that's precisely what I bring to the table. A quick and formidable truth about books. After much reading, I think I can safely suggest what books you wouldn't want to waste your time with. I am impartial to genre and publishing source—I can care less if the author is romance or action, Indie or Traditional—it doesn't matter. I like it all. That being said I've read lots of books. Having done that, I'm considered a fairly good source of information on good or bad books.

For this edition of What NOT to Read with Mini Truth, I've picked a doozy. Now, before I go on, I'd like to start with a clause:

Dear Authors & Readers,

I am not here to criticize the Author on a personal level. I am simply offering my honest opinion of the works featured in this column. Nothing more and nothing less. This is NOT an attack towards the Writer, but a simple and suggestive view of his/her works. Thank you.

Brace yourself folks!

For those of you whom enjoy reading Sci-Fi Fantasy, please, do yourself and your pocket a favor and do

NOT pick up “The Best Laid Plans” by James McAllister. Prior to picking this story up, I read the blurb

and then checked out the interviews. Let me start by saying, I ALWAYS find it odd when an Author reviews

his/her work. May I offer an example:

On Goodreads.com Mr. McAllister writes, “Well, I wrote it! Now, I sort of miss the characters. Hmm.” Here's the link:

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/644186333

Anyhow, let me go on...

The blurb:

“In two weeks, when the Fleet arrived at Earth, the man known to a quarter of the galaxy simply as “The

Admiral” would officially retire at a great party at the Lunar Grand Ballroom Among The Stars. And then his

most important assignment would begin. These were his best laid plans.

But others had very different plans involving Angus MacAlister, his Senator wife, and his assumed second

career.

Such were the plans they had made.

What Admiral MacAlister faced was no where near his plans: Fierce battles in space above the Earth, with the planet's very survival hinging on the outcome. Searching through the wreckage for survivors. Bloody fights for survival with bioengineered warriors. A mysterious symbiosis revealing telepathic powers. Assassination attempts. Searching for his wife, stranded on some lifeless planet. Building a society from

the shattered remains of humanity, only to discover that societies evolve along unforeseen lines. Costly attempts at vengeance. A daring rescue into the last stronghold of the horrific alien menace that ultimately fails, yet brings new friends and new hopes as it reveals terrible possibilities. And a little romance. The reactions of Angus MacAlister to all of this fuels the birth of something much larger, and much more important, among the few million surviving humans.”

This, I must admit, is a very alluring blurb. Though long, it's good nonetheless. There is something I'd like to point out though. What author in his/her right mind would name a character after themselves? Just because the name is spelled differently, makes it no less your surname! Still, I picked up the story and started upon my venture of reading it. After all, no one is perfect and maybe the author simply couldn't think of a name. Things happen!

I start reading, and the very first thing I noticed right off the bat was the significant amount of information concerning theseveral Ships and their crew members. Now, when I say “significant amount”, I mean A WHOLE LOT. So much so, that once you're done reading all of it, you'll instantly forget it had you not taken notes. No people, I'm not kidding! I had to take notes! The last time I had to take note on any book was in college! What the...?!

Regardless, I pushed on. I picked up that the Admiral was being chased, I picked up that he loved his wife very much. Still, I awaited the “action” mentioned in the blurb. Instead I got quite a bit more of what seemed like useless information.

People (I kid you not), I could not make it past the 5th Chapter. How bad must a book be, that I—the all genre reader—cannot press through it. Why? Because I was so very confused. My mind was whirling and I had no idea what the heck was going on.

I felt terrible, because I don't typically not finish a book (double negative—I know). The thing was, I truly felt like it was a chore to get through it. When reading for leisure, the last thing that you want to feel is like reading said work is a task.

Reading a school text book... that's supposed to be a task. Reading for leisure? No. Not so much.

So, what did I do? I dug deeper into the reviews, and further information on the book. Let's just say that what I found out, was interesting.

1) Very few reviews, and most of them say the same things I noticed—too much technobabble and too drawn out. Yet, they still gave him 3-5 stars. Hmmm...? Odd much?

2) Mr. McAllister has the tendency of 'commenting' a lot on whatever reviews he does get.

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/650958057

3) There apparently was a fiasco with the one person that I believed gave the book an incredibly accurate review.

theunleashedreviewboard.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/unleashed-speaks-on-the-best-laid-plans/

I surmised instantly that it was dangerous to review this author's works, if you had nothing good to say, lest he harass you like a gnawing toothache. My heart goes out the The Review Board for what they had to endure with Mr. McAllister.

However, besides all that, I truly suggest that you do not waste your time reading this story, unless you are hankering for a headache.